I'm Just the Assistant


Paul was one of 100 volunteers for a project at a national laboratory. For generous compensation, each of their brains would be surgically transplanted into another volunteer's body for one week of careful study. Scientists and their lab assistants would investigate how the human mind reacts and responds to a new environment, analyzing behavior, muscle memory, gait, balance, and more, before their minds were returned to their original bodies. However, when Paul awoke as a beautiful, young, blonde woman, he knew he had to find a way to stay like this permanently.

The plan was simple; he would secretly change the status of who was a test subject and who was an assistant in the lab's computer. Since his new body was the same age as the lab assistants, and the lab assistants were graduate students from all different universities, he could easily pretend to be one as well. During his daily medical exam, Paul waited patiently to make his move. The lab director stepped into the examination room, logged into the main computer, and performed a few tests. As soon as he stepped out for a bathroom break, Paul jumped onto the main computer. He switched around close to half of the names as to not single himself out. Now it was just a matter of making an "accident" for whoever was in his body.


When the story made headlines and the lawsuits began, everyone involved was brought in for questioning. Knowing this was coming, Paul was extremely delicate with his responses and answered every question carefully without raising suspicion. Nobody any reason to think he was responsible. When matters pertaining to day-to-day operations were discussed, Paul would just say, "I'm sorry, officer. I'm just the assistant," and nobody was the wiser. As soon as he was beyond earshot of the station, he screamed and jumped for joy. "I can't believe I got away with it! I'm keeping this body forever!" Realizing how that probably sounded out loud, he shut his mouth and avoided eye contact with any pedestrians until he made it home.

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