Working Through It (Part 2)

Part 1


"Is it true then?" Stanley asked the psychologist. "I'm stuck like this? The doctors can't fix my old body?"

The man just nodded in silence.

"Well isn't that nice," Stanley said sarcastically while touching his heart. In reality he was struggling to hold back tears. He felt like his life was stolen from him, even if he was still alive. And he couldn't blame the person responsible because she was dead and he had taken her place. He hadn't moved since Roland left. He was still sitting in bed, undressed beneath the sheets, surrounded by a replica of his old, tiny apartment.


"But I am here to help you with whatever you need," the man assured him. "I have experience with people who have transitioned, detransitioned, and who have their lost sexual organs due to accidents or abuse. I know this is not the same, but you are the first patient in this situation. It will help to hear your thoughts. Would you tell me what are you thinking about right now?"

Stanley scratched his eyes and brushed his chin-length blonde hair over one ear. "I don't know how to be a woman," he admitted. "I don't even know where to start. And I'm 20 years older than I'm supposed to be. How can I reconcile the age I feel with the age I am?"


Now that he had some time to process his new situation, the questions began to flow. "Where do I even start to adjust? Did anything about me not carry over from the operation? Has my sexuality changed? Have I lost my muscle memory? Did I acquire this lady's muscle memory? Will-" He went on and on and on.

The psychologist patiently answered each of Stanley's questions. There wasn't a field manual to navigate his exact predicament, but he was continually reassured that life would go on. After an hour or two of talking, he even managed a genuine smile, and he thanked the man for his help.

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